Lets start in Atlantic City. I had my hopes up for Atlantic City, but it was kind of a piece of crap. Number one, there are parts of the city where everybody was saying "Dont go there during most times of the day." Thats a sign that suggests the city your in, sucks. We stayed in the hotel that hosts the Mrs. America Pageant, and it had all sorts of stupid memorabilia and stuff like that. I can honestly say that i think that the Mrs. America Pageant is a waste of time, waste of money, superficial, shallow, pointless and is just flat out ridiculous. Great, you're good looking, lets all give you a crown stand up and clap for you while you answer some fuckin random stupid question as you wave at people who could care less about you and some cheesy asshole sings some song like, "Look at her....Isnt she fuckin gorgeous". Thats how I feel about most beauty pageants anyways. Strong man competitions too....i mean....really?!?! So you can lift a 1500 pound boulder, who does that help, we have machines for that now you idiot. On top of that, your metabolism is just gonna be SUPER fucked up now...good luck you dumb bastard..... okay, rant done.... So to sum it up, Atlantic City was a bummer. Next was Allentown, PA. As we pull in we are downtown, and its a Holiday Inn. It was just remodeled and they had a managers reception (free drinks and snacks....BALLIN!) and I met the General Manager of the Hotel. After telling him i have the seminar tomorrow, he hooked me up with some free drink coupons for the bar downstairs I talked with him for a bit and i left with a beer in hand and some crackers with cheese. After that I traveled to Bethlehem to meet another Program Manager and go get some grub and drinks. First we went to a bar where they serve 400 different martinis. Im not a martini drinker, and dont think i have actually ever had one. I got a berry surprise or some shit, drank it down, and we went to another place for dinner. Its a place called the Bethlehem Brewery. Kelly, the other PM, said I had to get the Mac n Cheese, cuz its the biggity bombastic shizzle frazzle dazzle wigwam (shutup haters) mac n cheese. SO.... we start with a Christmas salad, which is pretty good with spinach, candied walnuts, dried cranberries, and an awesome cinnamon vinaigrette dressing. Next we had a crab dip with chips and pita bread (decent) and the crem de la crem, the mac and cheese. This stuff was amazing. It totally lived up to the hype.... It had 4 types of cheeses, bits of bread, and great pasta. It was bomb. After the meal I went back to the hotel, used my free drink coupons from the GM, talked/ignored some old guy from Florida who was pretty bitter at my generation for "taking jobs from elders" and went to bed. I woke up and this day started as a disaster. My speaker needs internet for her seminar, and the hotel didnt have internet in the conference rooms. I called the GM and told him to get his butt down to the hotel to fix this. He did this, but not until the seminar was half over. They had to run a 400 foot ethernet cable from the hotel front desk, through the lobby, through the hotel kitchen, through some back hallways and finally into our room. It was a bitch. On top of this my speaker is flipping out, yelling at hotel staff, constantly calling me into the seminar with all 40 people there and asking me if i had heard anything and would just be a pain in the behind. To sum it up, the day sucked. Kelly came around 1 to my hotel and brought some desserts from a place called vegan treats in Bethlehem. It was a brownie with vanilla mousse on top and a peanut butter cake thing.....all vegan, and it was delicious. Also, a band called Slightly Stoopid was staying at the hotel, and I talked and hung out with them for a bit. It was a day of good things and bad things. After that seminar we went to Harrisburg, PA and it went off with no problems. I flew home for a quick 24 hour turnover, and headed back out to Cherry Hill.
I take off to Philadelphia at 830 in the morning on Sunday and we were projected to arrive at 430 that night.....Nope! There were some bad thunderstorms in Philly, so we were stuck in a flight pattern for 2 hours, and had to land in Baltimore to refuel and just sit on the tarmac for another 2 hours until we were given the okay to fly in. By the time we got in, i had been on that damn plane for 11 hours. It was 10 o'clock and i had a horrible headache. I felt like i was going to throw up. I never get headaches, but for some reason, was suffering till no end.....okay.... (stop whining you pussy).... In Cherry Hill, was another PM, Hillary Schmidt. We hung out and talked and the day went by super fast. After that seminar, Hillary left and my speaker and I went to Bethlehem.....again, and I ate Bethlehem Brewery again, and went and got Vegan Treats again. My speaker had some and was blown away that they were vegan. She loved them. My speaker this week is a kind woman from San Diego who has a bad leg, and I help her out ALOT. I do it because she is super nice and is 10X better than my speaker last week. After enjoying Bethlehem again, We drove to Newark to the hotel next to the prison. This was an easy seminar and nothing exciting happened. Afterwards, we had what I thought would be a quick drive from Newark to Long Island, a 45 to 50 mile drive. It took 3 hours for us to get to our hotel. Traffic was stupid, just stupid. When I arrived, I met up with the program manager I was with in Denver, Kyle.....pictured below on the cow....
This was gonna be another night ending up almost like that one had above in Denver.... We go to the bar and get some drinks and immediately start playing photohunt (the game where there are 2 exact picture but they have 5 small things different in them and you have to find them.) Well we start playing and are coming so close to the record but we just cant get it. This whole time we are ordering Long Island Iced Teas (ON LONG ISLAND!!!!) and not even thinking about anything around us but this game of photo hunt. Well we are loud and making a scene from coming so close, and eventually a few people start to join us. It was a group of 4 people 2 hot chicks, an 2 FABULOUS!!!!!! dudes. They eventually notice our determination and start playing photohunt with us. After several drinks later we learn that these people were Southwest Airlines flight attendants. We defeat the record, the Holiday Inn in Ronkonkoma, NY has a record under photo hunt that says heckssert....(heckendorf and dessert), and we talk with the attendants some, We sit down with them and they are going to town on drinks and evetually start sharing with us. Somebody brings up the topic of getting drinks on Southwest flights and they comment on how they have stacks and stacks of the free drink coupons. they pull out like 10 of them from their pockets and give them to us and we give them our addresses and they said they will send us another stack for us in the mail. FREE DRINKS ON SOUTHWEST HERE I COME!!! After eventually stumbling my way back to my room and going to bed/passing out I wake up in a daze, but feeling good. I go downstairs to my speaker who is ready to get this show on the road. Everything goes fine and we head to Bristol, CT. Unfortunately, to do this, we had to go through New York and that traffic again. We eventually found out there was a ferry that goes from Long Island to Bridgeport, CT (Thank God) and we were just going to catch it. We departed form Port Jefferson, NY where the picture below was taken....
The Ferry ride was nice and relaxing. After we got off the ferry, it was an hours drive north to Hartford and here I am. I have come to the conclusion that in every state there is an unwritten rule about how fast you can go over the speed limit and not get pulled over. In Washington, it tends to be about 5 miles an hour. In Pennsylvania, most likely going 5 to 10 miles an hour over and you will be okay. In small towns in Illinois, where most of the cities money comes from passing through speeders, stay going the speed limit and you should be kosh. In Connecticut, I was going 10 over, and was still getting passed on my right and on my left. These people were hauling balls. Interesting thing to notice tho. I am in a Clarion Suites and its dec. I had a continental breakfast, some subway, downloaded a new app for my IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPHOOOOOOOOOOOONE (say it like you have a monocle on) and fly out at 530 back to Seattle for a week. I have an interview on Wednesday that I am stoked on, and look forward to relaxing for a bit. Hope all is well with you peeps..... deuces from East Windsor, CT......
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