and Hawaii...

I am sitting in the "World Club" lounge in the Honolulu airport after a few days of rest and relaxation in Hawaii.  The lounges rock, and come in handy if you're on the road (or flying) nonstop and need a place to just chill.  Ya get snacks, drinks, t.v., and some other cool things.  One awesome thing is that that alcohol is complimentary and endless.  Some lounges let you pour your own drinks, the Minneapolis one, the one im in in Honolulu, its sick.  Now if i were with friends, they might as well hand us a fifth and tell us to go to town, but since im by myself, well......its hand me a fifth and i go to town..... JOKING!!! If anybody travels with me in the next year and we go through one of those places on a connection, expect to get a buzz on at airports compliments of NWA, Alaska, or Delta.   Its definitely a cool thing to have access too. Anyways, I had a seminar in Seattle on Thursday and that went off without a hitch and i flew to Hawaii afterwards.  Talk about a long flight, but  of course its well worth it.  Stepping off the plane into the humid air gave me the feeling satisfaction of knowing that I am someplace that I can relax.  During the seminar i started out in a suit and tie, but by lunch had slipped into my board shorts and a tshirt through on some sunglasses and went swimming in the beach which was about a block away.  I came back from lunch with wet hair and a wet tshirt.  After everbody went back into the seminar room, i went back out, got some Cheeseburger in Paradise, (Thank you very much Jimmy Buffett) and checked out the scenery.  Maybe a little unprofessional, but come on its HAWAII BRAH!!!!  SHOCKA!!!!!! (I know, i know I'm a loser.....)  The hotel I was in was the Hilton Waikiki Prince Kuhio, which is like a block from the beach and in the heart of Waikiki.  It was an awesome hotel with incredibly comfortable beds and a 52 inch flat screen tv that swiveled so i don't have to move my fat ass into the position i find comfortable, the tv can do it for me.  I was on the ninth floor, which is about 1/4 of the way up on the building, but the view was still amazing of the beach and ocean.  

After the seminar I went back to the ocean and swam around for about 2 hours just lying in the sun and enjoying it while I could.  I met my sister Erin that night and we went to Sensei, a Japanese Sushi restaurant that was ridiculously good.  After that experience there, I came to the conclusion that one of my goals in life now is to go to a sushi restaurant/bar where they don't speak a word of english just so i get a full experience and know that its all authentic.  (I know thats stupid, but its the experience ya know?) After that, we were both tired, and I knew i was on vacation, so we went back to the hotel and i crashed hard.  We woke up at about 8:30 and it was pouring rain outside.  We got some awesome coffee at a place called Honolua Coffee Company down the street from our hotel and searched for a jacket cuz i forgot to pack one assuming it wouldnt rain, yes im stupid and dont prepare for weather.   Im glad I had gotten my rain-free swim in the day before and enjoyed the lil bit of sunshine i was given.  Now although it was raining, it was warm rain, and swimming felt great, so the eventually  we decided to go surfing.  Well we met up with one of Erin's friends Heidi and she had boards for us and took us to Diamond Head point where there was some good breaks.  There were a ton of surfers out there and being, a howly (native slang for tourist/whitey) and a fairly novice surfer, i was pretty intimidated.  Intimidation aside, i rode one or two nice waves and had some sicky sicky gnar gnar wipe outs, but we had to get back on land so Heidi could get to work that night.  It had been raining hard for about 3 hours now, and the streets were starting to flood.  It was ridiculous, Heidi said that having the street flood in Oahu wasnt out of the ordinary.  After a day of surfing, there is nothing more satisfying then showering, because your tired/sore and you have sand and sea film/salt all over you that you can now wash off.  After the shower we went downstairs and were hungry.  So we went to an ABC store and got....you guessed it, more sushi.  its was actually really good considering it was from ABC, which is comparable to a 7-11 Hawaiian style and are literally on every corner.  We walked all around Waikiki and looked at shops and once again around 730 had gained an appetite and were hungry again.  We went to a place called the Yardhouse, which is a cool sports bar in the middle of all the shops and has like 100 beers on tap.  It was awesome.  After having a solid meal and some beers, we kind of couldn't figure out what else to do, so we walked around and would sit down wherever we decided looked cool.  One place we sat down and ordered a raw seafood plate.  It had salmon, halibut, squid, tuna, octopus, eel, shrimp and all sorts of seafood.....raw (hence the name).  There was something on there though that if i remember correctly looked like baby poop and we all know that when my nephew leo goes boom boom.....my mom serves it for dinner...joking.....(too far/disturbing/gross?  really?  whatever go fuck yaself)  so i tried it, and the texture made me want to kill myself and the taste was kinda horrendous as well, so i stayed away from that.  Soon Erin and i cleaned the plate and left back to the hotel.  This morning I woke up, had a fruit parfait which was awesome, some horrible "bold" Starbucks coffee and came to the airport.  

This week was the best yet, and i assume will be the pinnacle of relaxation/fun for my traveling schedule for this job.  I'm also happy the Cougs won and am REALLY looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving.  Once again, this job is rad cuz i get to experience cool things and meet new people while at the same time gaining frequent flyer points and hotel points, but most things are more appreciated if experienced with other people you are close to and care about.  I know i know, totally hallmark saying, but its true.  I got some cool stuff including those chocolate covered macadamian nuts which are so good they're disgusting and have officially started a tradition of getting a shot glass from each state I have been to after Steve told me it would be a good idea.  I am in Seattle tonight and tomorrow, go to Portland on Tuesday and am back in Seattle from Tuesday night until Sunday, which is awesome.  Hope all is well and I am off to fly back to beautiful Seattle.  Deuces from Honolulu Howlies....

A hook haka hiki, cmon ya wanna lay me, pass the poi mahalo..... (Waynes World anyone?!?!  AAAAHHHH whatev...) 

Boise, Idaho....O WHAT!?!?!

I just flew into Boise Idaho from Salt Lake City, Utah tonight and I am tired as hell.  Last night I stayed in possibly the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in, Marriott Courtyard City Centre in downtown Salt Lake.  It was awesome, they had a room on the 12th floor you could go to and they would give you dinner and treats and all types of food and drinks and stuff for free.   I missed the dinner, but i did get a couple cookies and a piece of cake.  After that great extravaganza, i decided i needed some real food instead of cookies and cake.  I left the hotel and, no joke, the streets were dead and nothing was open. This was at like 730.  I'm not sure if Utah closes everything down early because of a curfew or for Mormon religion ceremonies or what, but either way, i walked 4 blocks and didnt pass a single person or have a single car drive by.  I didnt see any bars either, and I would guess thats why nobody was really out on the town, not that people only go downtown to drink but ya know.   Besides it looking like a ghost town, Salt Lake was a pretty clean/okay city.   

The next day at the convention centre, this place was massive, i had to lug my AV case, 3 boxes (full of books), and a briefcase to the very end of the building where our room was.  To make it worse, the person "helping us" was this woman who was probably 5 foot tall, a little pudgy (im being nice), and rode around on a 3 wheeled stand up thing thats like a segway, but isnt because it has a third wheel.  It is meant for people who want to ride a segway but cant balance or are maybe just to large......YEA I SAID IT WHAT?!?!  She asks if we are from BER and we say yea and she goes, "Oh you guys came in on the wrong end.  Its all the way down there (points in other direction), follow me."  Well, she guns it on that little 3 wheeled contraption while I am left to drag 130 pounds of books and crap i need for the seminar a half mile down this convention centre walkway.  My speaker was like "Wow, she really moves on that thing."  By the time  I get down to the room I am sweating ridiculously and our "helper" was standing there eating a bagel.... Yea thanks lady.  Well she leaves and thats okay, everything goes as planned.  I usually go into the room to talk and give my little talk around noon.  I go into the room, and i dont know what the hell these 39 women were eating but inside the room it just smells of farts.  I had smelt that stench  before once in the country club after a room of 20 women ate limburgh cheese or something of that sort and all of them just sat around farting/crapping their pants with smiles on their faces while creating this god awful smell.  I stepped out briefly composed myself and bared the bog of eternal stench i was about to embark into.  Anyways, everything went off smoothly and I made it to my flight pretty easily and everything has gone good for this week so far.  

Presently I am in a Best Western Hotel in Boise, and it isnt bad compared to some of the stories i have heard about Best Westerns  in other states.  It also has a continental breakfast, which has come to become a huge deal to me at this job.  If a hotel offers a free breakfast, its awesome cuz its rare that hotels do that anymore.  Usually its just coffee in the lobby, which sucks.  Its weird to think that my life has come to bitching and critiquing hotels like i do now, but its a big part of my week and dont have much else to do but travel.  Well, anyways, I could walk to the airport which is 50 feet away, so getting to our flight to Seattle tomorrow wont be a problem.  I am really excited to fly home for a day and just be back in Seattle.  I am getting my car and going back to my apt to get some things and hang out for a few hours before i have to go back to The Coast Hotel in Bellevue.  Under contract I HAVE to stay in the same hotel that the speaker is in just so that I am available if there is an emergency or an issue that needs to be addressed and my help is needed.  After the seminar I fly to Honolulu where I will check into the Hilton and proceed to work until 3 o clock on friday and then stay in Honolulu and go visit my sister for the weekend.  People say OH MY GOD!!  YOU GET TO GO TO HAWAII?!?! Yea, and its pretty rad. I mean I'm stoked for it, but i also pay for it badly when I am in North Dakota and Wisconsin and Minnesota during the winter and there will be a 50/50 chance of me having to stayover a weekend in some podunk town i had to put on a seminar in but couldnt because a blizzard came and snowed us in and now I am stuck there for a couple days.  Bumfuck, North Dakota here I come!!! WOOHOO!!!  

Well I am tired and think that I have typed enough for one night.  I arrive back in Seattle at 6 tomorrow and will probably be all settled into the hotel by 7, so if anyone wants to hang out tomorrow night while i have a short time in town, let me know.  Have a good one.

Deuces from Boise, Idaho

The Start

  Well here i am, in Billings, Montana watching HBO and hungry.  I'm starting this blog a few weeks after i began my job at BER as a traveling liaison and have had some cool experiences on the road.  I have gone backstage at an Ingrid Michaelson concert (total woman powerfest, I felt like a douchebag for being there) pretending to be a reporter for The Stranger in Seattle and met Ingrid.  I also began to keep up the journalist identity and interviewed a couple of the openers about the tour, and that is when the d-bag title really came out.  I have lost my cell phone in a taxi in Atlanta, GA and miraculously got it back.  Went to Boston and randomly ran into an old friend in a dunkin donuts, and some other crazy things.  I have also met some interesting people on planes and stayed in some hotels that are pretty posh, and others that would make a homeless person cringe.  I have recently found it is almost impossible to workout on the road and  stay in shape.  I workout when i can and havent gotten out of shape but have found it hard to watch what i eat since i am traveling nonstop and need to eat on the fly.  Last week the speaker i was with asked me if i used to have a 'weight problem' (within the first 10 minutes of knowing each other mind you), because "i look like somebody who use to be fat and lost all the weight".  I responded, "Not that I know of" which is the nicest thing on the list of responses and jabs at this POS i could think of.   This person was kind of interesting/weird and I would have been more than glad to fling  smart-ass remark at them but i would get fired resulting in a hunt for another job in this wilting economy .  

It has been a ridiculously busy past couple weeks and have been many places.  So far I have been to Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Illinois, Tennessee, Georgia, Ohio, Texas, Alabama (Home Sweet Home), Missouri, Arizona, Maine, and this week I can knock off Montana, Utah, Idaho, and Hawaii.  I get asked on a daily basis what I do, and here is my best description.  Well my business card says I am a Program Manager for the Bureau of Education and Research and travel ALOT. I fly and drive to all types of cities in the US with a speaker and help them set up seminars for teachers.  These seminars provide the teachers with job security in their districts and schools while at the same time explaining to them new methods of teaching while giving them updates to the education system in the field they teach.  What I do specifically, is wake up early, make sure everything is set up, sign everyone into the seminar, do a lot of paperwork, explain to the teachers how they get credit for being there, get the speakers lunch and cater to them in any way possible, plan that days travels, and other specific never-ending minutia that goes along with my job.  Another popular question is,"Do you like that?"  My opinion changes weekly and depending on my mood and the type of day everyone gets a different reaction.   So far I miss my friends, my apt, my family, and relaxation... but I am okay with everything and know its all good BRAH!!!!!  

Maybe I will have a better post tomorrow and something this week, but I am tired and have to get up early.  

Deuces from Billings, MT....