O Dear God....I am in Bethlehem....Wah wah.....

Yes thank you thank you, I know that blog title is AWESOME!  Yes I am in Bethlehem and boy do I feel holy.  BER got an urgent call from god and he said, "Quick!!  Get that short kid who wears glasses and has red sideburns to Bethlehem right away!!  We need a teacher seminar on how to teach students how to speak foreign languages better stat!!"  .....and here I am.....chillin in Bethlehem.....Bethlehem, PA.   Its a nice town, and is in fact named after the town the big JC (No, not Justin Crane) was born in, in Judea, by a settler in the 1740s.  There's your history fact for the day.  Holla.  (Yes, wikipedia comes in handy)  

  Well I am back on the east coast and it is surprisingly warm here.  It got up to 60 here yesterday and it felt great after coming from seattle in the mid-20s, and being in North Dakota and Minn. last week.  I flew into Reagan airport, got my killer rental car (a chevy malibu), and headed to Baltimore to hang out with Eric who just moved to D.C. from Seattle.  The Ravens game had just gotten over as I arrived in downtown Baltimore and the drunk idiots running in the street literally were being tackled by cops so they wouldn't get hit by cars driving 50 miles an hour outside the stadium .  I myself almost clipped like 6 separate people.  Well i parked and  met Eric at the Hard Rock, but we soon decided that wasnt our scene and we wanted to explore.  Avoiding barf on the street from the drunk Ravens fans throwing up what looked like cheddar cheese mashed potatoes (description is compliments of Eric)  was awesome!  After finding a hooters and some small seafood restaurants, and entering a sketch chinese restaurant called the China Room, we decided to just to get pizza at Uno, a pizza chain that doesnt exist in the northwest.  We had a deep dish pizza with a couple beers and caught up and decided we needed to find some bars, preferably run down ones, to get another beer at.  On this excursion, we walked through what I guess would be considered the "burlesque/red light" district, where there were endless strip clubs.  It was a dirty STRIP of establishments and Eric and I soon felt we werent skeezy/dirty enough to go into any of them.  

 We ended up in this alley of a place surrounded by bars and what looked to be the "clubbing" area of Baltimore.  It was dead.  Nobody was there, and due to the Ravens getting beat by the Steelers, nobody was in the party mood in Baltimore, and it didnt help that it was a sunday.  So we walk into a bar and there were some drunk people at the end of the bar yelling and dancing, which soon turned into jumping up on the bar/tables and dancing for the 3 person audience they had.  Soon more people came in a and joined them. It turned into an all out sloppy drunk dancefest with around 8 people in this bar, dancing on tables and the bar itself just being stupid and drunkingly uncoordinated.  (I shouldnt talk, cuz most of my dancing is done after I consume a few pints of beer and seem to flail my body awkwardly around) Eric and I gotta kick out of it until some skeez Jersey cheesedicks walked in and asked Eric and I,  "Yo.  You guys know where the club is at?"  We told him no and finished our beers and left.  As we walked out of the bar, a huge group of cheesedicks with a ho-train in-tow were heading towards the bar that we were just at.  We only imagined the stupid crap  that was going to go down and be said in that bar after we left.  Jager-bomb, jager-bomb, jager-bomb...  Speaking of that, I think I saw an Oompa Loompa in the middle of the large d-bag train.   Anyways, I said deuces to Eric and I headed to the Embassy Suites in upper Baltimore.  Overall, I thought Baltimore, for where we were, was fairly clean and nice.  I made a comment about that, and Eric explained that like 5 blocks outside of it, just on the outskirts of the town, it was kinda ghetto.  I never experienced that part of Baltimore so I consider Baltimore to be an okay city.  I wouldn't go there for vacation, but if i were passing through, I would maybe stay there just to see the nightlife on a busy night.  

The next day the seminar goes fine and we had a 3 hour drive to Allentown/ Bethlehem, PA.  This town is pretty old and festively done up for the holidays.  Went out to eat last night and my meal in this dive pub was pretty cheap.  I have a seminar in Philadelphia/King of Prussia, PA (yes there is a town called King of Prussia....god......idiot.....) tomorrow and you can bet that I am going to Reading Terminal and probably getting a Cheesesteak at Jims, or I might try another.  I know I have gotten a few recommendations from people so we will see. Getting a shot glass of course in priority, but i gotta get those reading terminal chocolates and a cheesesteak mhayn (you try and spell slang, its tough).  I think I might even get one for the flight home on Thursday.  I am stoked to come home a day early and begin my two week break.   Okay well  gotta go get some white out, cuz i ran out.  Yea, i lead an important life.  Deuces from Bethlehem, PA.....

Without Steve Buscemi or William H Macy......Fargo is no fun.....

So I was in St. Cloud, MN yesterday staying at the Best Western Kelly Inn which is about an hour north of Minneapolis.  St Cloud is a town where I get the idea that if the downtown didnt have so many vacant spaces for lease, or stores just shut down, it could be a cool/funky place.  There were some little business like a costume store, a thai place, a burger place and of course like 5 bars, but there could have been alot more.  I asked the front desk where they go to eat, and they recommended a place called Satwadee, the Thai place.  I got the spicy noodles, and they were damn good.   I watched the rest of Ratatouille (Yes, I am apparently still 7 years old) and went to bed.  

The next day I wake up and I am a zombie.  Its like the past couples days of having no sleep have caught up to me, and I just flat out cant function.  I manage to get all the mornings shit together for the seminar, but when I went to go meet the staff at the hotel, I went up and said 'Hi' to the people helping me and they glanced at me with a blank stare and didnt say anything and walked away.....fuckin dicks....... I mean maybe people from Minnesota are just socially retarded, but I met some nice people in Minneapolis who were cool.  Oh and another thing, I went to go fill up my gas, wearing my business suit to the gas station, went into the store, held the door for 2 guys in camo who stared at me and didnt say a god damn thing. No smile, no thank you, didnt touch me or the door, just like expected me to do it.  Everyone (probably about 6 people) in that fuckin Holiday gas station was staring at me like I was some alien from Your-anus (yea I just did that).  I think it is small town feel or attitude or something, I dont know.  I thought St. Cloud was decent overall.  

Well I drove to Fargo, ND and was staying in a Best Western again.  This one was a conference center as well, and just as sub-par as yesterdays Best Western.  My speaker takes the car to get something to eat, and I find myself with 3 decisions for dinner, a Chuck E. Cheese,  a Green Mill (sorta like TGI Fridays) or a Hooters.  Well first I went to the gas station and got a shot glass for the collection, but then made my way to the Green Mill.  It was packed and they said a to-go order would take a while, so I went to.......... HOOTERS!!!!!  I secretly wanted to go there for the wings and experience, but didnt want to be that scumbag sitting alone at a Hooters bar.  I know, I am a real classy guy.  This place was packed.  I mean of course there were fatass truckers sitting alone gawking at these scantly clad hott chicks, excuse me....uh huh....women but there were also like high school people on dates.  Really?!?!  Hooters for a high school date?? God Bless America.  Well anyways they had 9.99 all you can eat wings, and I got that.  Delicious. I washed it down with a beer (should have gotten a straight Budweiser with my fried chicken wings in Hooters to complete the equation because that is just straight Ameri-Can.....right Steve?).  Anyways, good meal overall.  Came back to my room, which is the size of a sardine can, watched the GU WSU b-ball game, fell asleep thinking about the horrible 2nd half WSU had and what an amazing 2nd half GU had.  I woke up this morning, set up everything in the room while half asleep.  Signed 8 people into the seminar and headed to Starbucks.  I asked if they had the breakfast sandwiches, and the woman behind the counter said that North Dakota Starbucks dont serve the sandwiches.  She then asked me where I was from and why I was here.  I told her Seattle, and sarcastically she said, "Oh you must feel lucky to be here"  to which I reply, "Sure am" and her response is "Well have fun in a state that is not fun."  I was kinda shocked, but felt bad that even the people here think North Dakota just isnt that exciting.  Oh well, tell it like it is i guess.

I head to Bismark, ND tonight on a 3 hour drive and stay at another Best Western.  I dont really like Best Westerns.  I have the sneaking suspicion that under management requirements for hiring an employee it says,"Make sure employee acts like a bag of shit when dealing with clients."  I just havent experienced good service (Im being nice with that....alot of the people who I have talked to the past 2 days acted like I had held them down and farted in their face....which would have been AWESOME!!!!.....when i asked them a question or inquiry) at Best Western.  The employees are just ridiculously lazy and pathetic.  Okay, rant done.  Maybe Bismark will be different.  I fly out tomorrow around 5 and land back in Seattle around 1130.  Awesome timing.  well i gotta run to Chuck E Cheese to get my speaker a small pizza with very little sauce.....the demands i have to do and take with this job make me feel like a bitch sometimes....glass half empty eh?  Anyways...deuces from Fargo, ND....

Panera Bread is the shit....

Okay so my plane finally took off in Seattle, and I had no delays, which is surprising because there was horrible weather.  I flew into Appleton, Wisconsin (I could by you a mansion.....god bless t-pain)  and took a taxi to the hotel.  When I got to my hotel room i walked in and it felt like i had just walked into a furnace.  My room was hott (sexy and warm), but then again it was 8 degrees out and somebody was compensating for the arctic like weather outside.  So what did i do?  I stripped down to my boxers and sat around in the heat of my hotel room, loving every minute of my private holiday inn room sauna.  The next day I had my credit card put on hold (which is a regular thing because i am spending a good amount of money in random places all over the US) so i decided to go find a bank machine.  This gave me a chance to see Neenah, WI, which is just outside of Appleton.  I thought it was a really cool town.  I was just in Illinois and I would probably guess there wasn't a single town there that I said, "Ya know, I could see myself living here if there was a chance."  No offense to people from Illinois, I just think your state sucks a fatass hippo dick.....JOKING!!  Illinois is nice......in a way..... but anyways, Neenah is a cool small little town that I walked around and decided i really liked.  For lunch i ate at a place called Gyros and Kabobs II.  I never thought there would be a greek restaurant to battle Santorinis in Kirkland, but I have found it.  This gyro was amazing, and cheap.  After that gyro, i was set.  If I were to live anywhere in Wisconsin, it would be Neenah.  

Well last night we had a flight out at 645, but we heard news of a snow storm coming thats gonna drop a foot of snow, so i tried to get us out on an earlier flight.  "Nope, sorry, all flights are full."  Shit...  Should i rent a car and drive 4-5 hours to Minneapolis....possibly longer with a snow storm to drive thorugh?  Well, we waited it out and we arrived at the airport at 430 and our flight is delayed 20 minutes.  Not bad we will get out almost on time.  Oops, a 30 minute delay......Uh no fiddlesticks...... 45 minutes because of deicing and airport traffic......By golly gosh darn it, the Minneapolis airport has been closed for an hour due to bad weather.... Okay everybody lets board the plane.......Oh dog gone poopbutt piddly paddly doopidy dick, just got word from the tower in Minneapolis another hour delay is expected........and it went like that until 1030 when we finally took off from Appleton in the middle of a snow storm.  We deiced for 30 minutes and got on the runway.  The funny thing is that it wasn't that bumpy of a flight but i was white-knuckling it that whole time just for the landing.  Well we landed fine and got to the hotel by 145.  Got up at 630 this morning, got a complimentary breakfast from the hotel, came to work and here I am.  No interesting/weird stuff has happened to me these past couple days but i still have 3 more seminars this week.....yippee!!  I head to St Cloud tonight, and head to the Dakotas after that.  I also got a rental car at Hertz last night and I got a brand new 4runner......minus its brand new cup holders.  Who the fuck takes a new 4Runners cup holders??  Is there a 4Runner cup holder shortage??? Brand new 4Runner for sale with cupholder upgrade which includes.....cup holders!!!! (Oh shit, better buy that 4Runner that fuckin thing has cupholders)  Yea, this is the type of shit i think about in my spare time, like what happened to the cup holders in my rental car....whateva, go fuck yaself.  

Well goodbye for now.  Oh and I ate some cheese from Wisconsin....it tasted like, you guessed it, cheese.  Nothing special.  Anyways, deuces from Minneapolis peeps.

going into the coldest week of my life....

Its Sunday....again.... and I am sitting in the airport.....again.... in my home away from home, the northwest club room....I could say again again but that would just be repetitive.  I am waiting for my flight to Detroit where I catch a connection flight to Appleton, Wisconsin.  The likeliness of delay is high and I am expecting to have to wait for deicing and that shiz.  

I have been paying attention to the forecast of cities I will be going through this week, and the highest temperature it gets on the days I am in ANY of the cities is 26 degrees. Right now, in Appleton , WI (where Im heading) it is -2 degrees, in Minneapolis it is 4 degrees, in St. Cloud it is 4 degrees, Bismarck is an oh so warm 17 degrees, and in Fargo it is 7 degrees.  I have brought my snowboard clothing and have upgraded the rental I pick up in Minneapolis.  I like snow, and its a good thing I do cuz the forecast calls for snow showers in every city I'm in.  Hopefully my speaker likes snowball fights, cuz if she doesnt, and it turns out she is unpleasant.......whitewash surprise (take it as you want).  

My plane is about to board so I have to start to get going, but I had an okay time last week after Philadelphia even though my speaker was kinda passive aggressive and .....uh oh planes boarding.....deuces from the terminal....more later....

Holy Shit! Philadelphia is rad.....

So.....  I bet you didn't expect 2 blogs in one day, but i am feeling frisky and this one probably won't be that long but, Philadelphia is rad.  I was there for maybe 4 hours, but love it.  There is a street called south street that is really cool and has like districts and the best Philly cheesesteak place  called Jim's Steaks.  It brings any other cheesesteaks to shame.  I also briefly went through Reading Terminal Market as it was closing down.  Its a marketplace with an assortment of shops sorta like Pike Place.  In fact, it was a lot like Pike Place, but it has cheesesteaks......FUCKIN CHEESESTEAKS YALL!!!  Alright, Im in Cherry Hill and tired.  Deuces from Cherry Poppin Hill....

And I am in New Jersey....Newark, New Jersey

Here I am in the beautiful city of Newark, New Jersey calmly sitting in a Holiday Inn and glad to be here after a long day of traveling yesterday.  Chris Brandard ladies and gentlemen...  Just Friends anyone???  Anyway...I was in Portland last week before vacation and everything went great.  The drive though from Portland to Seattle is a bitch.  It should only take like 3 hours, but with nonstop traffic, it ends up being close to four.....stupidest crap ever.  Had a good thanksgiving and fun time with friends over the weekend, but as traveling started up again I realized I wasn't as organized as i should be and kinda wigged out.  So if you had the chance to see me or talk to me on Saturday night, i had alot of anxiety but I am good now, tired from traveling all day yesterday but good.  

Yesterday was a horrible of flying.  After getting dropped off by me moms to the airport at 6 in the morning, I slowly but surely slugged my way to my gate.  We all board the plane at the right time and literally as the last person sits down, the continental crew gets on the intercom to say we are delayed 2 hours.  This delay meant i had time to go into the northwest airlines world club with 2 other program managers and have a few early morning refreshments (bloody marys and toast.... breakfast of champions).  At 930, we board the plane again in hopes of taking off, but once again, we board, get halfway down the runway and pull off because we have been delayed another hour, and this time no club to go to.  Shit.  Well we eventually take off and they show the same movie i saw on the way to Hawaii so I ignore it, and watch The Prestige on my computer, good flick, and Hancock, dec flick.  Once my computer dies 3/4 of the way through The Prestige, they announce to us that we are flying in a holding pattern, which means we circle over Pennsylvania again and again  until we can fly into Newark.  This holding pattern lasted close to 2  hours. By the time I arrived into Newark it was around 6:30 or 7 and I was tired but redonkulously hungry.  Continental, the airline i flew with, is a killer airline by the way.  Its the only airline that still serves food during its long flights.  They gave us a breakfast meal that was damn good.  Anyway...  Once i dumped my shit (take as you want to) in the hotel I had to make a trip to White Castle....damn son.  It was good.  The burgers were cheap, 65 cents, although smaller, and the fries were really good too. I got 3 burgers, a spicy burger, a cheeseburger and a regular burger, a fry, and a medium drink for 5 bucks.  God Bless White Castle.  I can see why its stoner food.  Each burger only costs a small fortune, and if you go to white castle you can order like 7 or 8 burgers thinking oh my god thats a lot of food, but infact its not the same size as a regular burger but ya know...... hence in Harold and Kumar when they go in and order like 40 burgers and 10 fries, it might be feasible to eat.  I think I have friends who would be up for the challenge of eating that much food.  In any case, it was good.

New Jersey isnt so bad, but then again I am sitting in the lobby of a holiday in by the airport and have only experienced the teachers in the seminar room and the white castle employees so far. One thing i kinda wanna see is an oompa loompas, as steve calls them, ( see link, www.hcwdb.com and find orange faced spikey haired guys.....)  They are the douchiest of the douche in NJ and I kinda wanna see one cuz theyre just shit-tacularly douchee.    I go to Cherry Hill, N.J. tonight, and will probably pick up my NJ shot glass there or something.  Tomorrow for lunch, or maybe tonight we will see, I am going to another place shown on the travel channel for eatin Philly Cheese Steaks in Philadelphia, which is like 5 miles from Cherry Hill.  I look forward to that, and then take off to Champaign tomorrow where I drive all over the middle of Illinois.  I need to get a shot glass there too.  Somebody remind me to get a shot glass there.   Aight, im out my son.  Chunkin the deuces from Newark, New Jersey....

and Hawaii...

I am sitting in the "World Club" lounge in the Honolulu airport after a few days of rest and relaxation in Hawaii.  The lounges rock, and come in handy if you're on the road (or flying) nonstop and need a place to just chill.  Ya get snacks, drinks, t.v., and some other cool things.  One awesome thing is that that alcohol is complimentary and endless.  Some lounges let you pour your own drinks, the Minneapolis one, the one im in in Honolulu, its sick.  Now if i were with friends, they might as well hand us a fifth and tell us to go to town, but since im by myself, well......its hand me a fifth and i go to town..... JOKING!!! If anybody travels with me in the next year and we go through one of those places on a connection, expect to get a buzz on at airports compliments of NWA, Alaska, or Delta.   Its definitely a cool thing to have access too. Anyways, I had a seminar in Seattle on Thursday and that went off without a hitch and i flew to Hawaii afterwards.  Talk about a long flight, but  of course its well worth it.  Stepping off the plane into the humid air gave me the feeling satisfaction of knowing that I am someplace that I can relax.  During the seminar i started out in a suit and tie, but by lunch had slipped into my board shorts and a tshirt through on some sunglasses and went swimming in the beach which was about a block away.  I came back from lunch with wet hair and a wet tshirt.  After everbody went back into the seminar room, i went back out, got some Cheeseburger in Paradise, (Thank you very much Jimmy Buffett) and checked out the scenery.  Maybe a little unprofessional, but come on its HAWAII BRAH!!!!  SHOCKA!!!!!! (I know, i know I'm a loser.....)  The hotel I was in was the Hilton Waikiki Prince Kuhio, which is like a block from the beach and in the heart of Waikiki.  It was an awesome hotel with incredibly comfortable beds and a 52 inch flat screen tv that swiveled so i don't have to move my fat ass into the position i find comfortable, the tv can do it for me.  I was on the ninth floor, which is about 1/4 of the way up on the building, but the view was still amazing of the beach and ocean.  

After the seminar I went back to the ocean and swam around for about 2 hours just lying in the sun and enjoying it while I could.  I met my sister Erin that night and we went to Sensei, a Japanese Sushi restaurant that was ridiculously good.  After that experience there, I came to the conclusion that one of my goals in life now is to go to a sushi restaurant/bar where they don't speak a word of english just so i get a full experience and know that its all authentic.  (I know thats stupid, but its the experience ya know?) After that, we were both tired, and I knew i was on vacation, so we went back to the hotel and i crashed hard.  We woke up at about 8:30 and it was pouring rain outside.  We got some awesome coffee at a place called Honolua Coffee Company down the street from our hotel and searched for a jacket cuz i forgot to pack one assuming it wouldnt rain, yes im stupid and dont prepare for weather.   Im glad I had gotten my rain-free swim in the day before and enjoyed the lil bit of sunshine i was given.  Now although it was raining, it was warm rain, and swimming felt great, so the eventually  we decided to go surfing.  Well we met up with one of Erin's friends Heidi and she had boards for us and took us to Diamond Head point where there was some good breaks.  There were a ton of surfers out there and being, a howly (native slang for tourist/whitey) and a fairly novice surfer, i was pretty intimidated.  Intimidation aside, i rode one or two nice waves and had some sicky sicky gnar gnar wipe outs, but we had to get back on land so Heidi could get to work that night.  It had been raining hard for about 3 hours now, and the streets were starting to flood.  It was ridiculous, Heidi said that having the street flood in Oahu wasnt out of the ordinary.  After a day of surfing, there is nothing more satisfying then showering, because your tired/sore and you have sand and sea film/salt all over you that you can now wash off.  After the shower we went downstairs and were hungry.  So we went to an ABC store and got....you guessed it, more sushi.  its was actually really good considering it was from ABC, which is comparable to a 7-11 Hawaiian style and are literally on every corner.  We walked all around Waikiki and looked at shops and once again around 730 had gained an appetite and were hungry again.  We went to a place called the Yardhouse, which is a cool sports bar in the middle of all the shops and has like 100 beers on tap.  It was awesome.  After having a solid meal and some beers, we kind of couldn't figure out what else to do, so we walked around and would sit down wherever we decided looked cool.  One place we sat down and ordered a raw seafood plate.  It had salmon, halibut, squid, tuna, octopus, eel, shrimp and all sorts of seafood.....raw (hence the name).  There was something on there though that if i remember correctly looked like baby poop and we all know that when my nephew leo goes boom boom.....my mom serves it for dinner...joking.....(too far/disturbing/gross?  really?  whatever go fuck yaself)  so i tried it, and the texture made me want to kill myself and the taste was kinda horrendous as well, so i stayed away from that.  Soon Erin and i cleaned the plate and left back to the hotel.  This morning I woke up, had a fruit parfait which was awesome, some horrible "bold" Starbucks coffee and came to the airport.  

This week was the best yet, and i assume will be the pinnacle of relaxation/fun for my traveling schedule for this job.  I'm also happy the Cougs won and am REALLY looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving.  Once again, this job is rad cuz i get to experience cool things and meet new people while at the same time gaining frequent flyer points and hotel points, but most things are more appreciated if experienced with other people you are close to and care about.  I know i know, totally hallmark saying, but its true.  I got some cool stuff including those chocolate covered macadamian nuts which are so good they're disgusting and have officially started a tradition of getting a shot glass from each state I have been to after Steve told me it would be a good idea.  I am in Seattle tonight and tomorrow, go to Portland on Tuesday and am back in Seattle from Tuesday night until Sunday, which is awesome.  Hope all is well and I am off to fly back to beautiful Seattle.  Deuces from Honolulu Howlies....

A hook haka hiki, cmon ya wanna lay me, pass the poi mahalo..... (Waynes World anyone?!?!  AAAAHHHH whatev...) 

Boise, Idaho....O WHAT!?!?!

I just flew into Boise Idaho from Salt Lake City, Utah tonight and I am tired as hell.  Last night I stayed in possibly the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in, Marriott Courtyard City Centre in downtown Salt Lake.  It was awesome, they had a room on the 12th floor you could go to and they would give you dinner and treats and all types of food and drinks and stuff for free.   I missed the dinner, but i did get a couple cookies and a piece of cake.  After that great extravaganza, i decided i needed some real food instead of cookies and cake.  I left the hotel and, no joke, the streets were dead and nothing was open. This was at like 730.  I'm not sure if Utah closes everything down early because of a curfew or for Mormon religion ceremonies or what, but either way, i walked 4 blocks and didnt pass a single person or have a single car drive by.  I didnt see any bars either, and I would guess thats why nobody was really out on the town, not that people only go downtown to drink but ya know.   Besides it looking like a ghost town, Salt Lake was a pretty clean/okay city.   

The next day at the convention centre, this place was massive, i had to lug my AV case, 3 boxes (full of books), and a briefcase to the very end of the building where our room was.  To make it worse, the person "helping us" was this woman who was probably 5 foot tall, a little pudgy (im being nice), and rode around on a 3 wheeled stand up thing thats like a segway, but isnt because it has a third wheel.  It is meant for people who want to ride a segway but cant balance or are maybe just to large......YEA I SAID IT WHAT?!?!  She asks if we are from BER and we say yea and she goes, "Oh you guys came in on the wrong end.  Its all the way down there (points in other direction), follow me."  Well, she guns it on that little 3 wheeled contraption while I am left to drag 130 pounds of books and crap i need for the seminar a half mile down this convention centre walkway.  My speaker was like "Wow, she really moves on that thing."  By the time  I get down to the room I am sweating ridiculously and our "helper" was standing there eating a bagel.... Yea thanks lady.  Well she leaves and thats okay, everything goes as planned.  I usually go into the room to talk and give my little talk around noon.  I go into the room, and i dont know what the hell these 39 women were eating but inside the room it just smells of farts.  I had smelt that stench  before once in the country club after a room of 20 women ate limburgh cheese or something of that sort and all of them just sat around farting/crapping their pants with smiles on their faces while creating this god awful smell.  I stepped out briefly composed myself and bared the bog of eternal stench i was about to embark into.  Anyways, everything went off smoothly and I made it to my flight pretty easily and everything has gone good for this week so far.  

Presently I am in a Best Western Hotel in Boise, and it isnt bad compared to some of the stories i have heard about Best Westerns  in other states.  It also has a continental breakfast, which has come to become a huge deal to me at this job.  If a hotel offers a free breakfast, its awesome cuz its rare that hotels do that anymore.  Usually its just coffee in the lobby, which sucks.  Its weird to think that my life has come to bitching and critiquing hotels like i do now, but its a big part of my week and dont have much else to do but travel.  Well, anyways, I could walk to the airport which is 50 feet away, so getting to our flight to Seattle tomorrow wont be a problem.  I am really excited to fly home for a day and just be back in Seattle.  I am getting my car and going back to my apt to get some things and hang out for a few hours before i have to go back to The Coast Hotel in Bellevue.  Under contract I HAVE to stay in the same hotel that the speaker is in just so that I am available if there is an emergency or an issue that needs to be addressed and my help is needed.  After the seminar I fly to Honolulu where I will check into the Hilton and proceed to work until 3 o clock on friday and then stay in Honolulu and go visit my sister for the weekend.  People say OH MY GOD!!  YOU GET TO GO TO HAWAII?!?! Yea, and its pretty rad. I mean I'm stoked for it, but i also pay for it badly when I am in North Dakota and Wisconsin and Minnesota during the winter and there will be a 50/50 chance of me having to stayover a weekend in some podunk town i had to put on a seminar in but couldnt because a blizzard came and snowed us in and now I am stuck there for a couple days.  Bumfuck, North Dakota here I come!!! WOOHOO!!!  

Well I am tired and think that I have typed enough for one night.  I arrive back in Seattle at 6 tomorrow and will probably be all settled into the hotel by 7, so if anyone wants to hang out tomorrow night while i have a short time in town, let me know.  Have a good one.

Deuces from Boise, Idaho

The Start

  Well here i am, in Billings, Montana watching HBO and hungry.  I'm starting this blog a few weeks after i began my job at BER as a traveling liaison and have had some cool experiences on the road.  I have gone backstage at an Ingrid Michaelson concert (total woman powerfest, I felt like a douchebag for being there) pretending to be a reporter for The Stranger in Seattle and met Ingrid.  I also began to keep up the journalist identity and interviewed a couple of the openers about the tour, and that is when the d-bag title really came out.  I have lost my cell phone in a taxi in Atlanta, GA and miraculously got it back.  Went to Boston and randomly ran into an old friend in a dunkin donuts, and some other crazy things.  I have also met some interesting people on planes and stayed in some hotels that are pretty posh, and others that would make a homeless person cringe.  I have recently found it is almost impossible to workout on the road and  stay in shape.  I workout when i can and havent gotten out of shape but have found it hard to watch what i eat since i am traveling nonstop and need to eat on the fly.  Last week the speaker i was with asked me if i used to have a 'weight problem' (within the first 10 minutes of knowing each other mind you), because "i look like somebody who use to be fat and lost all the weight".  I responded, "Not that I know of" which is the nicest thing on the list of responses and jabs at this POS i could think of.   This person was kind of interesting/weird and I would have been more than glad to fling  smart-ass remark at them but i would get fired resulting in a hunt for another job in this wilting economy .  

It has been a ridiculously busy past couple weeks and have been many places.  So far I have been to Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Illinois, Tennessee, Georgia, Ohio, Texas, Alabama (Home Sweet Home), Missouri, Arizona, Maine, and this week I can knock off Montana, Utah, Idaho, and Hawaii.  I get asked on a daily basis what I do, and here is my best description.  Well my business card says I am a Program Manager for the Bureau of Education and Research and travel ALOT. I fly and drive to all types of cities in the US with a speaker and help them set up seminars for teachers.  These seminars provide the teachers with job security in their districts and schools while at the same time explaining to them new methods of teaching while giving them updates to the education system in the field they teach.  What I do specifically, is wake up early, make sure everything is set up, sign everyone into the seminar, do a lot of paperwork, explain to the teachers how they get credit for being there, get the speakers lunch and cater to them in any way possible, plan that days travels, and other specific never-ending minutia that goes along with my job.  Another popular question is,"Do you like that?"  My opinion changes weekly and depending on my mood and the type of day everyone gets a different reaction.   So far I miss my friends, my apt, my family, and relaxation... but I am okay with everything and know its all good BRAH!!!!!  

Maybe I will have a better post tomorrow and something this week, but I am tired and have to get up early.  

Deuces from Billings, MT....