Boise to Reno...bitches...

Okay so I am on the west coast this week.  Started out in Seattle, easy seminar, drove to Portland, even easier, and am now in Boise.  I am pretty sure I have already given my rant on how much i hate the drive from Seattle to Portland, so there is no need to talk about that issue.  Nothing really exciting has happened this week.  One perk was that the Southwest Airlines flight i took from Portland to Boise had only 23 passengers on it.  The plane held 130 some odd people, and there were only 23.  Those flights are awesome, you get your own row, don't have to sit next to someone that smells.... it's awesome.  

  We arrived in Boise last night and we stayed in a hotel in "downtown" Boise.  My room was outdated and the climate control was all schwack, so I would be freezing one moment and boiling the next.  I also would have hoped to have hit their  fitness center, but it would have required me to go into their pool house for what the front desk said is more like "cardio-equipment".  Plus I had to walk outside and find the damn poolhouse (maybe next to the pool you moron) which was dark and unappealing from every angle.  So i stayed in my room and watched  King of the Hill (I don't care what they say, its an awesome show).  Last night, i woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back asleep and felt achey.  When I woke this morning after eventually falling asleep, I was achey, stuffed up and felt like crap.  BOOOOOOOOOO !  Its a blue moon when I get sick, so a fatass full one must have been beaming through my window last night and onto my sinuses.  Boise is, how do i put this????.....is uuuuhhhh......well......a shithole, no....not that bad....kinda depressing maybe??  Okay we will go with that.   Don't get me wrong, everyone I have met here is super nice, and they are very helpful, but the town itself is a little bit of a letdown.   It is tiny and doesn't hold much of anything, but to my surprise found some cool places to eat.  

  The place I ventured into for lunch is called Zen Bento.  It has a simple menu of bento bowls that are either beef, chicken, veggie, or tofu.  Also, you can pick between brown rice, white rice, or noodles.  Dont think that is the end of the selections, you can also pick what kind of sauce you want.  Its basically a build your own bento bowl kind of place, and found it to be delicious.  After that I went to Vie la Rose, a small coffee/bakery/lunch shop that looked awesome.  Their pastries are ridiculously good and I got a Mocha Cookie with a vanilla latte (I truly am from Seattle).  That shit was amazing. Their pastries and desserts looked disgustingly delicious, but was too full to dine on any of them.  If i were eating anywhere in Boise and the waiter/waitress asked me if I wanted dessert, Id say "Hell no bitch.  Im goin to Vie la Rose fo dat shit."  I also passed by a pub called Mulligans, which, after glancing inside had a cool feel with couple pool tables and a dart board.  So I had 1 or 8 beers and went back to work.  joke...ha.....ha.....ha.  No but it looks like a cool place to have I might have a drink downtown if I am ever in Boise for a night, JUST a night.  

  I leave from the Boise airport tonight at 7 and arrive in Reno at 7 (I own a DeLorean dude, thats how its possible).  Hopefully I can pump the meds before I leave and will be good to hang out a bit tonight after a quick workout, and can maybe sit down at some roulette or JPP or Blackjack.  Although Reno is nothing like vegas, it will be fun to see what its like, and what's interesting to do around there.  Well I am going to find some Emergen-C, Tylenol sinus and whatever else to make this head cold go away.  Deuces from Boise, ID brahs.....

Airport blog...

Sooo I am at the airport, and although I dont have alot to talk about, I will give ya a run down of the past week.  After an awesome sunday night of drinkin a few beers with friends and seeing a cool band at the Tractor in Seattle, I headed to Inianapolis.  Indiana, another state I would only go to on work.  Stayed at a Holiday Inn (Chillin at the Holiday Inn...la la la....its a song) and actually while I was there, 2 Mexicans repairman for the hotel crawled up into the ceiling near my registration table to fix something and one of them fell through the roof onto the ground,  it was like a 9 foot fall.  I guess that was funny....he wasn't muy happy.  He hurt mucho.... Okay enough of that crap.  He got up and seemed fine except for some pinche caca/mierda comments.  After that was Columbus, Ohio.  I drove there, with my speaker, who sat in the back for 4 hours talking to me.  This speaker, literally was manic, obsessive, unempathetic and very odd in someways.  She was sweet at times but oddly rude and unaware at other times.  She spoke a million words a minute (fast right?) and talked to me like i didn't know what I was doing and questioned everything i did.  From the beginning of that car ride on i knew this would be a long week.  After having my ears bleed from them being talked off for 4 hours without getting a word in, I went to the Apollo sandwich shop near the OSU campus and got an awesome gyro.  Officially the absolute coolest thing I have experienced in all of Ohio, except for maybe the 4 dollar footlong subway subs at the gas station in Cleveland.  Next we flew to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where i got to hang out with another program manager.  For some reason, all the other program managers have like cities they get to cross paths in and meet and hang out during work, and i get very few of those.  So the day went by fast because I got to know one of the other program managers and it was alot of fun.  We hit up Panera Bread (where else would I go to eat you fucker?!?!) and talked and got to know each other.  I am going with her on a couple stay overs, so i look forward to having someone I "know" on those.  Well, after that we drove up to Neenah, WI which is the small town that I enjoy.  The people there are really nice and they have a KILLER gyro and kabob shop.  So as soon as I got into my hotel, I went and got a gyro.  It was greatly satisfying ( I would say something like orgasmic, but thats like something Perez Hilton would type, and that dude is just a major gay....not that there is anything wrong with that, but I dont know if you know this but I have a huge gay following and dont want to send them the wrong impression.... sorry dudes i only like donuts, not hot dogs)  Anyways, sooooooooo shit what was I talking about.... Oh and I went to one of the many Houdini museums in the US.  Appleton, WI was where Houdini said he was born and raised, but really was born in Budapest Hungary, so for this reason, they decided to have a Houdini Museum here.  My speaker was WAY more into it than I was.  It was kind of a kids museum (Hershey Chocolate Factory anybody...god dammit) and I felt kinda childish for being there, but learned some cool things about Houdini.  Well I am signing off because I am about to board my plane......deuces from Appleton, WI

Primanti Brothers...

So, I am in Pittsburgh and I am freezing my butt off.  I woke up and it was -10 degrees outside.  I went down into the lobby and walked outside to see what it felt like to be in that kind of temperature and like i thought it would be......it was cold.  Well yesterday was my seminar in State College, PA where Penn State University is located and it was really cool.  The town revolves around the campus, sorta like WSU but a lot classier.  The campus was enormous, and there were like awesome bars and shops surrounding it.  I joked that I would have gone to a party (which I am sure i could have found) and been that guy in the corner with a beer in hand and just looking around like a weirdo.....i do that anyways at parties though.....so i guess be myself.... Anyways, the seminar was easy and went off without a hitch.  Had Pita Pit for lunch and it was awesome.  

  

  Yesterday was the drive to Pittsburgh.  It was long and snow filled.  We were gonna try to stop by the Flight 93 Memorial, but that didnt work out due to snowfall.  After 3 hours of driving, we checked into our hotel and went out to eat some australian food....Outback Steakhouse.  My speaker wanted to take me out to dinner, so she took me out and ordered us a blooming onion.  I was like, well crap, there goes all the working out I did during the past 3 days.  Those things are horrible for you, but i ate some and felt guilty cuz i didnt want to leave her to the whole thing.  The steak I had was money and I came back to the hotel and crashed with a full stomache.

  Of course I woke up this morning with it being frigid cold and a busy day getting ready to leave and getting little err

ands done.  As lunch came along, I was stoked to find out that a Primanti Brothers was just about a mile away form my hotel.  Primanti Brothers has been promoted as having awesome sandwiches.  So I make my way to the restaurant (freezing my ass off in my Chevy Cobalt) and go to what I am expecting to be an amazing lunch.  I go in and ask them what I should get.  A waitress, she was a  hottie with a naughty body....holla, claimed the cheesesteak is a favorite and i would like it.  Everyone, and im not joking, EVERYONE was wearing Steeler gear.  They have a game sunday, and are #1, but theres no game today or anything.....they are just really stoked about the Steelers.  They are diehard.  I guess Seattle teams just suck so bad that Im not used to seeing such pride in a cities team.  I get my sandwich, and it is massive.  It has 2 huge pieces of bread, slaw, fries, provolone, meat, and tomatoes, just stupid huge.  I take my first bite and its good, but its kinda plain.....its just a sandwich with some cabbage with a little italian sauce on it, and some greasy french fries on it.  I was somewhat disappointed.  Its not gonna make me tell my friends they HAVE to go there if near Pittsburgh and it wont make me write a raving review on a massive sandwich with no flavor.....I'm pretty sure the only thing this sandwich is going to MAKE me do is possibly pee out my butt.....gross huh? well youre the one reading it sicko..... Not necessarily a disappointment like the Hershey factory, but just not up to the expectations people give it.  Oh well, at least i had the experiences...

  I head to the airport at 500 and fly out to rrive in Seattle at 920.  I go to OAR this weekend and head to Indianapolis next week.  Maybe next week I can see some sites that don't underscore my expectations or give m the feeling of embarrassment for even being there.  Deuces form Pittsburgh, PA.... 

Hershey Squirts....and humility...

Yo...Well its been 1 week since i posted last and figured i need to catch up on it.  I have been a few places and received some news about future travels and adventures.  Since Birmingham, Al and United (bonerheads) mindlessly losing my A/V bag, I have been to Dallas, TX, Cleveland, OH, Detroit, MI, Baltimore, MD, Bethlehem, PA, and no Harrisburg, PA.  After taking what seemed like a million years talking to the United (bonerheads) airline baggage services, I had them ship it a week ahead of schedule to Baltimore, because cognitive thinking and problem solving to get my bag to me is truly a problem for them.  My seminars in Cleveland and Detroit went off without a hitch.  The hotel I stayed in in Detroit was pretty nice.  It was a Radisson and the accommodations were comfortable.  One problem though.  I got up in the morning and was kinda parched so i go to their little cafe and order a thing of milk.  They give me the pint sized cardboard carton of milk and i head to my seminar room.  Well, being parched and all, i open up the milk and start to chug......after the first chug, i realize that this is wrong, just flat out wrong.... god dammit, the milk that i was craving and was going to quench my thirst with is sour, ridiculously sour.  I have never had sour milk before, and i don't recommend having it, but it officially ruined milk for me for the next 5 days.    After that incident, my seminar is fine and I take my speaker, who is a lady probably close to seventy with grey hair that was clearly dyed, bright orange with grey streaks, nice but a little bit of a kook, to the airport and wait for my plane to take off.   So i board the plane and settle in for a chance to sleep and maybe watch a movie.  As we are flying I have my head phones on and hear the faint cry of a baby, but notice everyone on the plane kinda glancing around and looking confused at something.  So i take off my headphones and low and behold there is a meowing sound coming from somewhere on the plane.  Some lady had snuck a  goddamn cat on the plane and was holding it in her arms while the 2 Japanese passengers next to the woman were laughing their heads off because this magician of a lady seemed to have pulled this cat from thin air. After a loud and what seemed like an eternity meowing session, the lady put the cat back, to where ever she had stuffed it...... maybe she took the name of the animal too literally and thought that was a place to store it to have friends or somethin.  Anybody think thats gross??  Really?! Yea, well, I think its coooooooooool......... (if my parents are reading or any of their friends....sorry guys....but come ooooonnnnnn)

Okay so the next week arrives and I fly into Baltimore, MD late and am unable to meet up with my friend Eric and Elliott due to my arrival time and having my hotel an hour north.  Shit.  My presenter this week is a lady I had before who is easy to get along with and pretty nice, as long as i bring her a receipt for her meals....(....my thoughts, "I'm not a bitch, I'm not a bitch, I'm not a bitch....okay I'm a bitch.")   I have my seminar in Baltimore and everything goes fine.  Next I'm in Bethlehem, PA, and except for a mentally disturbed woman hassling me for change and talking about the trippy carpet in the hallway for like a half hour, it went fine.  I got a chance to go to the Martin & Co Acoustic Guitar factory which was really interesting, and got to pluck some strings on some guitars (which I 

dont normally get to do with this job) right off the

 line.  After that, off to Harrisburg, PA which is not to far from Hershey, PA......home (I didnt press the 'm' in the word 'home' hard enough 

and i typed hoe......AHAHAHAHA god i love my job) of the Hershey Chocolate Company.  I was excited to go on the Hershey chocolate tour.....God I havent been this disappointed in a while....

    I get up in the morning and am ready to go.  Did all my paperwork the night before and had everything in line so i could leave work at 10:00 and head to the Hershey factory to catch the free tour.  Except for our seminar site being kinda ghetto and having to hunt down a few things to get the presentation going, I was home-free to go to Hershey.  Now, this town of Hershey is devoted to chocolate, hershey kiss streetlights, cocoa is in every store name, and the town just smells like chocolate.  There is also a theme park that resembles disneyland.  As i get to the "factory tour", I expect to like 

put on a hairnet shower cap deal, and walk through the factories process and have somebody there explaining to me the steps in chocolate production.  I  arrive to my destination and there is a girl, probably a few years older than me, standing at the entrance to the facility. I ask her, "Am I gonna be the only one on this tour?" to which she replies with a confused look, "Uhhhhh yea..." and I proceed to what I believe will be an enriching adventure of the Hershey factory which includes me dipping my finger into the giant vats of chocolate and licking my finger with a giant smile on my face.  I arrive at the "tour" site and I am ushered alone into a pod of some sort on a track and for the next 15 minutes watch as animatronic cows sing and explain to me how chocolate is made in terms so that a 2nd grader could understand how chocolate goes from a plant and into their stomaches.  This was embarrassing....  I was alone..... on a kids ride...... with cows singing to me....about how chocolate is "made".....and how fun chocolate is to eat.... and drink.... and love....   oh and no surprise at the end they took my picture.... (which was taken by a cow of course....yes they learned how to use cameras apparently).....No Justin I didnt buy the 12 dollar picture to immortalize my embarrassment.   I officially feel like a retard (I know, not PC).   This experience has been a lesson.  I will look deeper into this type of shit so I  wont walk away to my car with a red face of humility and laughing while a 27-year-old woman looks out of the window at the factory wondering what the hell I was doing there.  Case closed.  

  Okay well I head to State College, PA tonight where Penn State University is and expect everything to go okay.  Who knows, maybe ill crash a college party and be that guy.  HOLLA!!!!  Then after that I go to Pittsburgh to hopefully see my friend Nick Desimone and possibly go to Primanti Brothers, an awesome restaurant known for having great sandwiches that they put fries and coleslaw on.  I am looking forward to having these experiences for the next couple days and hope they make up for what turned out to be an overwhelming mistake........  Deuces from Harrisburg, PA  

Tornado??

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...... Here I am, back on the road.  Out of shape even more and tired as hell.  Break was good.  Got some cool stuff and enjoyed most of the break.  My travels started back up Sunday and were a little rocky.  I got into Seatac at 630 for my 800 flight and lines were ridiculous for security, checking in, food, and in general.   I ran to my gate after i realized i had 15 minutes before scheduled departure, only to arrive and see that it was delayed an hour and a half because some flight attendant didnt show up and they couldn't find a replacement......strike one United Airlines.   Well I was meeting friends in Alabama for dinner and had to call them and tell them I would be late because due to this delay I would miss my United flight in Chicago to Birmingham......strike two United Airlines.  After arriving in Chicago and a much needed Quiznos sub, I board the plane, and we sit on the tarmak for about 30 minutes with the crew figuring out the weight balance of the plane.  Well it was too heavy and they had to unload some of the luggage off so people can fly to Birmingham.  After they took off the luggage they came on the plane and sad they needed 4 people to get off the plane.  2 people volunteered to go, but 2 were gonna be randomly selected and kicked off/removed from the aircraft.  Some foreign guy was picked and didn't go quietly......god he was pissed but who wouldn't be.  Next a woman was picked and she went quietly but looked very unhappy.  After another hour of delay from "weight problems" (Jenny Craig?????????)  we land in Birmingham and United took my god damn AV case off the plane so we could fly.....strike 3, and I officially HATE United Airlines.  Needless to say after the days events it was on par with everything.  It isn't a problem, I can fix it, it just involves more work and PR with the hotels.  

  After a long day, I just wanted some food.  Well I went out to dinner with some old Alabama friends and had an awesome dinner and time with them.  it was really good to catch up with people i hadn't sat down with in 8 years.  We discussed just about anything and everything over some drinks and really good food.  A bonus was that we got it all for free because one of the people I was with, it was her sisters restaurant that we ate at.  It was incredibly good to catch up.  After that I went to bed and had a good seminar the next day, and had another awesome meal catching up with another old Alabama friend who hadn't seen any of the Desserts in like 12 to 13 years.  Birmingham has some legit restaurants.  Its actually kind of a nice city, not one i would live in though.  After that I went back to the seminar and checked to see if my bag had arrived.  No it had not.  It was coming on a flight that arrived when i was taking off from Birmingham.  United sucks.....just sucks....  After that someone came storming out of the seminar room asking what the sirens were for......shrugging my shoulders, i'm like "Sirens?"  Well there was a tornado 15 miles north of the city and was just shredding all sorts of shit up...... so they sounded the sirens.  It was not a close call, but interesting enough to see how people reacted.  

After taking off from B'Ham (without my AV case....United Airline bitches....) I arrive at DFW in Dallas and proceed to hop into a "Speedy Shuttle" van.  

Okay I got a joke.......

 What do 2 screaming Mexicans, 1 tense Chinese businessman, 1 Bat out of Hell Malawi shuttle driver and 2 white bread Americans have in common??

They were in a "Speedy Shuttle" in Dallas about to die...

  The drive literally was these 2 Mexicans yelling in Spanish at the Malawai driver and the Businessman clutching his seat and my speaker and I thinking we were going to die.  He ran 2 red lights, we were almost t-boned in an intersection, and took literally 30 minutes to go 3 miles because he kept getting lost and would yell gibberish at random times and flail his arms (and wrists????) in disgust.  We gladly made it to our hotel in one piece and fell asleep.  

  Tonight I travel to Cleveland and am hoping to make it to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but for the 3rd time in a row, wont make it....... shit.....  I also saw a really nice sunrise this morning which has become a frequent occurrence in this job.  I have come to find that thats a benefit to this job.  Seeing the sunrise makes me feel like i started my day early and am accomplishing something.  Its a feeling of....goooood...nesss??  Whatev.  I've picked up my shot glass from Alabama and am gonna get one from Texas today.  Deuces from Dallas, Texas....