The Northeast tour....

  Its cold outside, but that is to be expected when your in the most northeast section of the country and it is snowing outside.  I am in Burlington, VT and this week has been what seems to be another week of a job that I have definitely settled into.  The speaker I am with this week is a sweet ol' lady from Indiana who is very relaxed, which is awesome because in turn, I can be relaxed.  Not much has happened this week, but thought I would fill ya in on the weeks happenings anyways.

  The week started off with me getting up at like 530 on Sunday, after a late night out, and head to the airport to fly to Newark, NJ.  I was on Alaska Airlines, which is my favorite airline to fly.....but not on this day.  I board the plane and EVERYONE is already on.  Im literally the last one to get on the plane and I am dumbfounded. They boarded the plane early so to de-ice the aircraft.  All the overhead space is taken, two gentlemen (one of them HEAVY set) have to get up out of the row I'm in so I can get into my window seat.  I place my bag underneath the seat infront of me, leaving me no room to stretch out my legs.  For a 5 1/2 hour flight, stretching your legs is important.  After getting into my seat, the gentlemen get back in their seats, and the heavy one sits next to me, spilling over into my section of the row.  ( Total side note :  You would think with all the flying I do, I would have sat next to somebody who has either bugged me or would have been proportionately bigger (side note on the side note: proportionately bigger means they're a fatty) on some trip from one city or to another already)  Well for 6 1/2 hours (waited an HOUR to de-ice....wanted to pull all my hair out) I sat in my seat with no leg room and a behemoth next to me reading his book jabbing me with his elbows as he stuck them out while reading his book.  I would nudge him and make it obvious I needed space, but he just wasn't getting the point.  Ya know the box that they have outside the terminal walkway where you measure your bag to see if it will fit into the required measurements that the FAA has set into place so as to prevent a good use of space on the plane??  They should have one of those for humans.  If you spill out into the walkway, or over an inch into someone elses seat, you get moved.   If a person is extra tall (a person simply cant stop growing up), they can request an exit row seat, or bulkhead seat so they can fit into the plane.  My question is.......Where is the FAT row??  I wanna know where the fat row is, because there are people who are clearly made uncomfortable on a plane due to the amount of room the person sitting next to them is not giving them.  Now, there are 2 common people that others dont want to be sat next to on a plane...... a baby (screaming) and a fatty. Now babies cry and scream and dont really know any better and will likely stop.  A fat person can PREVENT being fat.......okay maybe thats where I need stop this rant........put it this way, I was made uncomfortable on the plane to Newark.  WHEW .....anyways.....

  So I arrive in Newark to the Holiday Inn at the airport where I have been before.  Its alright, but the staff is horrible, and the food is just ridiculously expensive.  There are no restaurants around except a white castle like 2 miles down the road, but seeing as how I am not wanting to eat square burgers that look like they were meant for the keebler elves ( their burgers are small...dont get it??? whatever...) I decide to eat at the hotel.  I get a salad, a bowl of soup and some milk, and it was 28 bucks!!!!  Now the meal was good, but was it worth 28 bucks?!?!  Hell no! The seminar the next day went just fine, and we drove that night to Cherry Hill, NJ which is about an hour and a half south from Newark.  I am like the new mayor of this town.  I am constantly in Cherry Hill, NJ for this job.  (A man who works here at the hotel I am at in VT just went past my registration table with a shit-eating grin pushing a bucket of trash dancing like a dork because I have music playing on my computer......it just made my day)  After the Cherry Hill seminar, we got on a flight on USAirways (dont like USAirways) to Boston.  We flew out of Philly, and we sat on the tarmack for an hour and a half due to airport traffic.  We got into Boston around 1030 and to the hotel around 11:15.  We were staying in a Hilton Garden Inn which ten to be pretty nice.  It was St. Pattys day (F-off Steve for saying its a weak holiday) and they had green cupcakes at the registration desk.  In the time it took the front desk attendant to check me in, I had 2 of the cupcakes.....(what a fat kid).  The seminar was an easy one the next day, and there was a cougar who wouldnt stop talking to me ..... is that a bad thing?  No way, that provides so much entertainment value for my day and Im kind of a lil flattered.  GO COUGS!  ...wait....which one?!?  (The same guy who was dancing before just walked past my table again and told me how the wheel on the trash can he was pushing had broken off. Do I care about the wheel?? No, but he has some missing teeth and he talks funny.....needless to say, I like him already)  ....anyways..

  As we are loading stuff into the rental car we got, a Toyota FJ cruiser which is an interesting sport utility vehicle that hauls butt (pictured below left.....what the fuck is with the squinty eyes ya douche bag??), for Boston , my speaker goes to pick up a bag of hers that is kind of heavy.  I am standing behind her,and as she goes to pull up, the force she exerts from lifting causes her to fart LOUDLY directly onto my right thigh.  Now if this were one of my friends, they would be dodging my fists with lightening speed, but this was a frail ol woman who goes,"Oops, excuse me. Im sorry."  I hold back the laughter that is literally bursting in my gut and in my head and we start driving to

Manchester, NH.....just ridiculousness.  I love the next seminar city, because I dont have to do anything except show up, sign people in, eat the food that is given to me, and talk with the other program manager on site.  EASY day.  After that seminar we had a 2 1/2 hour drive here to Burlington and have found it to be a nice city.  All the people are really nice and I think for lunch I am going to go downtown and explore.  My family and I use to come up here for a number of years to visit friends, and I want to relive a few things like the Vermont Country Store.  

  Today, I fly out to New Orleans where I will be for the weekend and will be celebrating one of the PMs bdays.  The groups of program managers I am going with is really cool, and will actually give me some insite on what my decision might be for a few of my future endeavors in this job.  Well I hope all is well with you honkies reading this....deuces from Burlington, VT.....

  P.S. - I might post some more badass pics later in the day....